Over the Walls of Anger, into Each Other's Arms

Managing Anger Through The Lens of Attachment Theory

Anger Management

Are you frustrated and angry, feeling alone and unheard in your relationship? Afraid of what to do or say, fearing that whatever you do might take you past a point of no return? Do you fight your partner’s loudness with silence?

When you open your mouth, what comes out is not a clear expression of helplessness but a sudden burst of defensive anger. Does this sound familiar to you?

This practical guide takes you through steps of anger management- building emotional intelligence, stress management, communication skills and conflict resolution – with a focus on attachment styles that contribute to the turmoil in which you find yourselves. Attachment theory explains how fear, shame, depression or anxiety are natural responses that contribute to anger and your cycle.

In Over the Walls of Anger, Susan Armitage offers a well-designed and thoughtful focus upon anger as a psychological as well as behavioral pattern. One main achievement is that she makes attachment theory relevant to anger management clients and counselors. Most of her chapters begin with a couple quarreling, then describes the problematic emotional cycle that has arisen between them, goes on to describe how such cycles are developed and maintained, and then concludes with sensible questions designed to help readers address the personal relevance of that chapter’s topic. More specific advice is offered near the conclusion of the book, adding impact to the volume. I highly recommend this book for couples working together on their anger issues as well as individuals concerned about how their anger affects their intimate relationships.

Ronald Potter-Efron, M.SW, Ph.D.,

Author of over twenty books, including Angry All the Time, Letting Go of Shame, and Healing the Angry Brain.

Meet the Author

Susan Armitage

Registered Marriage and Family Therapist

Susan heads a Counselling team, where she and her team run the Over the Walls of Anger program for individuals and couples, which is based on her book Over the Walls of Anger, Into Each Other’s Arms. Managing Anger, Through the Lens of Attachment Theory.

“What is the most significant issue behind walls of anger?”

Anger

What if I were to tell you that much of your anger happens because when you are hurt, you fear disconnection and therefore want to draw your partner closer for comfort?

Couples Therapy

Although an individual may seek help with controlling their anger, if that person is in a relationship, the issue is almost always best addressed in couples therapy.